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I Really Want To

by Walrussia

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1.
More Than You 03:46
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i see you, i see myself i can't belong no, not in your hell like nothing else you make me feel like nothing else you wish me well more than more than i see you, i see myself i live and breathe and feel guilt shut out the world, fuck the earth our bond is torn girl like we're the first more than more than turning in bed like i can't get clean ears are ringing, i can't remember my dreams but now i'm fucked and so worthless but baby you're so perfect i think i want this love more than you
2.
Novella 03:02
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i am not the person i once was just some skin stretched out to fit a form i will calm down when you tell me you want me to you don't want me to you say conor this is getting boring can you even entertain yourself? you say conor why are you so quiet can you ever think for yourself? can you believe it i wish i would believe it i once cried out for attention or someone to pick me up laying on the ground holding your hand staring at the clouds i noticed one so large that floated away into me and you me and you we are perfect blue i say darling theres gotta be someone out here theres now way that we're all alone i say darling i can't hear my own voice your breath against my heart is a metronome can you believe it i wish i would believe it
3.
Keyring 02:45
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empty space locked around a keyring playing dumb and not caring how yr feeling lost moments locked around a keyring giving up and not caring how yr feeling i can tell that i fucked up
4.
Audrey Rose 03:11
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you got me staying in bed all day wishing i could write poetry something they'll read for eternity but i am not that smart and i'm in a rut but life moves too fast when you're in a rush you hold me down and drain the blood of my anxiety-ridden veins audrey, is this what i want? cause sometimes its hard to tell my body can not be your home and my bed will not be my grave you got me feeling like my skin's too tight the story of your parents kept up all night its so deranged that we coexist but nothing can be done to change that but it looks like we're out of time and the future is bleak without warning signs i want to be saved but not this life this was never gonna work out and audrey is this what you want? is this what i want? cause i've had enough i'll never get enough and i can't sit still and i talk too loud cause i sing so soft i'll never sing enough and i'll get you home and we'll lay in bed and you touch my skin and i'll fall asleep i'll fall asleep
5.
Forget-Me-Nots & Marigolds / Flowers & Chocolate 06:43
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i don't remember the moment i broke it off calling each other names and screaming in cars my words cut heavier than the actions ever could cause i was always fine with getting a bad mood i stood in the park i watched the lights above your head the feeling you had is over and gone the lights went out over your head
6.
Nailed To The Cross (Harmonies) 06:02
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heavenly love, this world is not built for us so how will only the two of us survive? im stuck inside this feeling everyday wake up spend the week in denial i wanna drive my car off a fucking cliff i want ya to break my heart lemme give in what if karma did exist what if i slit my wrists would they even check would they think i just overslept everyday everywhere i'm becoming weak and losing habits i thought i could keep put me in your bed, will you bury me here? i can't believe who i used to be what if karma did exist? what if i slit my wrists? would they even check? would they think i just overslept? its gonna be okay, fall will come again, just like every year i'll crush the leaves, with my bare feet, to feel something. i'll drink so much coffee, sit in the shower, try to catch a breath i'm the sun burning out and you are every one of jupiter's moons well i know you say you do but i don't think you do i know you say its true but i don't believe you well i know you know its over but i don't want you to i know you don't want me i don't want me too i'm so gone i'm so down i live in your words i travel through your heart i'm tearing you apart your mind, your soul = my hell, my hole you are every one of jupiter's moons
7.
London After Midnight 02:50
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i could get your attention but not that much throwing on a sweatshirt and walk outside the fog rolls in and forgets everything i am not the person i want to see a part of us remains wherever i have been long way back to the place i grew up its so far now that i've changed who i was kissing the moments and holding the sounds i still feel the noise when you're not around i wanna be the one you think about
8.
Playing Hide And Seek In The Dark 05:23
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it was raining outside so i locked myself away my windows turned black but i could still see my eyes i could feel you on the beach watching the shore you want something to rip the ocean apart and pull me in i don't waste our time i listen to the rain fall in our backyard i watched you bury your diary what did you write in there that made you wanna forget it all of all the skies i drew, i've never felt a love like this a tree grows out of the water and i just stand still i don't waste our time i listen to the rain fall oh but baby our close just isn't close enough and honey i know we're on the phone but we're still miles apart and yeah i'm freaking out yeah i'm freaking out but not because of you and you can't pull me out baby pull me out our sinking ship oh but bay our close just isn't close enough and honey i know you counted to ten but i'm not ready to be found
9.
Leave Me Standing 04:43
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goodnight solitude goodnight patience life has been taking its time with me now i watch the snow being plowed pushing everything aside to make parking spots i let my car warm up and i think of you. the time i spent without you. but when you're gone theres no light just dark theres no love i just have what i had before you left desperate death forgetting to leave (live!) i'm running around the room waiting to fall through the fucking floor i know our house isn't haunted. but sometimes i forget that. but when you're gone theres no light just dark theres no love i just have what i had before you left i want to hold every moment with you i want to carry all the songs you sing i just have what i had you left me you left me
10.
Driving Home; Falling Asleep 04:09
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i feel like i'm driving when i'm just walking i know that you're trying but you're not talking you're not talking at all at all you're not talking to me i hear you singing but you're just crying i feel like i'm driving when i'm just walking you're not talking at all at all you're not talking to me
11.
Okay Sweet! 04:25
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i just want to look how i am in here i want you to notice how i move about the house, slipping through the walls barely touching the surface and you say i can always be thinner i can always be nicer oh, okay okay okay i will get thinner i will get nicer then i'll be okay okay okay granted i was young, and hope was not all gone but that doesn't mean that it didn't feel real cause i can recall every single thought and every single sound and touching the floor with my fingertips then i laid, on the tile and i felt hollow and alone and i didn't know when you'd be home so i could call you and hear your voice i watched my eyes in the mirror you helped me disappear when you said i can always be thinner i can always be nicer oh, okay okay okay i will get thinner i will get nicer then i'll be okay okay okay but now i'm fucked and i'm worthless but baby you're so perfect
12.
Black Sabbatical 02:26
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can't believe its so hard falling back into the dark walk me home or i won't go i just can't go back alone watch me turn to nothing melting in the summer body touching body keep letting my mind wander can't even blow my lungs out can't just rip my heart out i know it'll take time so its not worth reliving oh oh oh try to keep you outta my head still sing your songs in my car driving home i start to cry just thinking about your pale blue eyes watch me turn to something blooming in the summer the rain kisses my window water touching water if my heads a basement you're the ghost that haunts it i know thats kind of morbid, but i just fucking love you oh oh oh
13.
It Is Too Late, My Blood Is In Your Veins. So Is Mine. 06:37
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in the wake of the doorway we are standing right there in the wake of the doorway i could feel you right there you're holding flowers, i'm holding grudges hour to hour my head keeps turning adding a notch in my neck for every moment gasping for air last night i watched my friend give up her name cause she could never be herself anyway and its too late cause yr blood is in my veins i'm dying to let myself fade away in the death of the morning we are driving right here in the death of the morning i could feel you right there you're breathing in time, i'm dying inside second to second i'm blinking my eyes yelling out for me, i'm far away and in the car you speed away you kill you kill you kill i want to fly over this crowded town seeing everyone who continues to mourn for my broken soul i lay under this stone giving up so early just seemed alright alright and its too late cause yr blood is in my veins and you want me to be the same it just won't work
14.
I Really Want To 03:57
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i got up feeling great i went to sleep feeling dumb it is so cold in my bed that i sweat right through the sheets its not that i am afraid cause i ain't scared of shit i just won't ever rise to the occasion ever in my life alright so i wrote this song last night but people do that every day what sets me apart nothing. nothing does alright so i'm writing all these words down now cause i will forget every single one i don't know what i want i really want to know

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thank you so much for listening <3

credits

released March 12, 2016

coach produced: "falling asleep"
adam alger sings on: "it is too late"
gary marqus sings on: "leave me standing"

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Walrussia Providence, Rhode Island

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